Date night

Nathaniel and I were able to go out tonight. It's so funny how much dinner and a movie can kind of bring you back to life and lift your spirits and make you feel like you're part of "the real world" again. It was so nice to sit and talk to Nathaniel without hearing "Mommy, mommy, MOMMY!" every five seconds. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my children, I love hearing Mommy most of the day, but a break was definitely needed. The girls were really good while we were gone, too, which made me feel even better. I think they seriously need a break from us, too. They have to deal with our craziness and our stress every day and try to figure out how to live around that and probably appreciated being around someone with a little more patience! So today, I'm thankful for the little things, for a small break and for loving family and for my two beautiful girls who I always appreciate more when I'm away for a bit. Can't wait to give them big hugs and kisses in the morning when they wake up!

Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business.

Henry David Thoreau

Something to think about

Books.

I love books. I have always loved books. I love the look of books, the smell of books, the feel of books in my hands, the world that a book opens up, like being able to have a passport to this world and beyond with no restraints of space or time. I have been considering applying to the Master's program at U of I for a while to get my Master's in Library Sciences. Today I went to the library in Alexis to see if I could volunteer or anything to kind of get a feel for things and see if it is really what I want to do. They told me they didn't need any volunteers right now. I was kind of bummed, but maybe it's just not the right library for me. Even though it is a very small library, the feeling I felt taking the girls there and the feeling I had in myself, coming to this home of so many different lives and experiences and places and times. It moved me. I love the quiet, the organization, being surrounded by the creative energy of others. I feel somewhat similar in bookstores, but honestly, there is just something about knowing that the books in a library have been in other homes, in other hands and have come to life in other people's minds is just amazing and beautiful. The power a library card can give you is unmeasurable. It is that passport across space and time to lands that to one person will be completely different to another thanks to the power of individual imagination.

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush

Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

(I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.)

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

Grin and bear it? Parenting, happiness and the pressure cooker

Grin and bear it? Parenting, happiness and the pressure cooker

I thought there was so much truth in this article and it really made me feel better about some of my feelings, so I wanted to share this.

Things I've Learned from my Grandmother

Today was my grandmother's birthday. I was blessed to be able to go out to dinner with her this evening, along with my mom and the girls. I am so incredibly thankful to have my grandma in my life. She's one of the most amazing, strong, loyal, faithful, trusting, trustworthy, beautiful people I have ever met. I have learned so much from her in my life. She has taught me the value of good friends. When I was little, my grandparents had game night on Fridays and they would rotate which friends' house we had game night on. It was so awesome to grow up in an environment where laughter and friendship were valued so highly. My grandma is always the perfect hostess and works so hard to make sure her company is always taken care of. She is involved in her church and in the community, but also takes time to enjoy things herself and to be independent. In the past few years, she has taken time to travel to places she has always dreamed of: Alaska, Spain, the Carribean, and she has a future trip to Panama that she is thinking of taking. She lives life to the fullest, always. My grandma was a faithful wife to my grandpa. When he was sick for years on end, she was there to drive him to appointments, cook him meals, care for him, and she made sure that he was surrounded by love. My grandma is by far one of the most selfless people I know and I know she would do absolutely anything for anyone she loves. She is honest and caring and funny and easy to talk to. When I thank God for things in my life, she has always been at the top of my list. I pray to God that I can be even just a little like her in my life. I am incredibly grateful that my girls have been given the opportunity to have her in their lives. They love their Gigi so very much and the smile upon their faces when she enters the room are brighter than the sun. She has blessed me so richly with her unconditional love and care and I hope I have blessed her with the same. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out, and I am so very, very fortunate that in my life, I have had the pleasure of calling her my grandma.

I love you, Grandma! I can never thank you enough for all you have taught me! May you have a very blessed year ahead!

Just being me